...

I can hear bells...
and whindchimes... ... ...
and harps -
but so softly
as to be
akin
to a
soft
breath... caressing your face, or
a hot, torpid, fruit scented aroma
... ... ...settling around you
on a
breezy
summer
...afternoon...

Lover

The air is rich with the smells of spice and cooking meat... I stand at the door, rocking gently between cool shadow and the drowsy heat of an early morning sunbeam. My heart beats against his body, pressed firm and close... a gradual cadence merging with his rhythmic, rumbling breath. My blood rushes in my ear-loud, insistant, muting all sounds but ours-created by the angle of my neck as it is bent, breastward, burying my face in his long warm fur.
.......

Broken Chains

Well. I'm free again. ::looks around blinking:: Its so long... I had forgotten about this little blog. But here:

I feel that I'm in a white room... standing here, blinking and looking all around... and maybe there is an exit and I can walk-just there- there and out... and into a futuristic airport terminal... and away........................................................

Not that I would ever want to NOT be in one...

It is hard to write in a blog when one is in a relationship. ::sighs:: because not all disclosures are readily acceptable by the other party. P'raps I ought not to have given out the blog address... ::sighs:: All relationships bind us in some manner... even the most freeing of them...

Voltrael...

You are always welcome inside of me... ::smiles::

See.. I just can't contain myself. I love quizzes. And I love D&D... LOL Oh - and everybody else is doing it...

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

You are the large, round, friendly d20! (You probably didn't know this, but the shape of the twenty-sided die is called an Icosahedron.) You are the friendly, outgoing, outspoken, leader of friends. You are often looked up to, even though you don't normally deserve it. Most other types secretly wish they were you, and you'd give them tips on how, if only you had a clue yourself. Your charisma is often all you need, but you have your occasional moments of brilliance as well--just never when it's actually needed. You are the all-around good guy, a dependable chum, a respectable foe, and an inspiration to those who need one. Who says you can't get by on a smile and good looks alone?

This survey is completely scientific. Despite the mind-boggling complexity of mankind, the billions of distinctly different personalities found on Earth can easily be divided into seven simple categories that correspond to the five Platonic solids, a pseudo polyhedron, and whatever the hell a d100 is. The results of this quiz should be considered not only meaningful but also infallible, and pertinent to your success as a fully realized individual. If you feel the results of this examination do not match your perceived personality, you should take whatever drastic measures are needed to cram your superego back into proper alignment, as described by the quiz results.
And if you believe that, we have some really great critical-hit insurance to sell you.

Hmmm...

If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?

A silly little girl...

Do you know what I love? Washing Romaine lettuce... the water is cool and clear and it runs over the ridges like a shallow brook over the pebbles in its bed... and then you can fill the concave at the top with the water and it hold it -so... rather like a little self contained pool... or a stylised spoon... and you can sip from it's cup- feeling like some woodland sprite after a bright summer's shower...

Reflections...

I wake up and don't feel like being dressed... I would gladly go about all day reveling in my nakedness - trying to recapture the cool silk of you... But my housekeeper is coming soon... So I skip the underwear and pants and put on a floor length pale pale peach skirt... to feel it swish about my calves and thighs... abdomen... it is linen and tiered, so that every few inches there is a seam which I can feel deliciously because my entire body is still sensitive... a rough textured cotton shirt - I feel it caressing my nipples... and amongst all of this I can still remember the warmth of you, seeping from between my legs...

Acquiescence

Okay. Someone has mentioned to me that they feel that my post on "behaviour morphing..." is a bit of a facade. Well. On closer examination I have to say they are wrong yet possess *some* insight. All I have said is true, but... as for feeling hurt at the end of a relationship... well. Hmmm... Alright. I may feel hurt very briefly. But I quickly remove myself from myself (disassociate would, perhaps, be a more appropriate description), calculate all the data and come out with what I have said in the aforementioned post. So... The hurt lasts such a small amount of time that it really *is* fair to say that, "I am not hurt." Now said person will now likely beg permission to remind me of my state of mind yesterday morning. Alright. Yes. I was actually sad. A rarity... ::sighs:: Fine... The growing cast of men who have bought me three dozen roses on Valentine's Day, many other delightful and unique gifts, PROPOSED and then... *disappeared* several days later *IS* beginning to wear on me. But that is like hearing the faucet drip for 24 hours... at first you can't even hear it and then - slowly... hour after hour it gets to be a bit much until finally you break down, go over and try to fix the damned thing. Yesterday the dripping faucet got to be... a tad vexing. It's fixed now. I would love it if it stayed that way...

Honour

"Where have all the cowboys gone?" or: A poorly written, loosely linear, Babble.

What has happened to honour? Now, if it is considered at all, it is with a certain mockery - sometimes... wistfulness. Chivalry is dead! is a popular by-phrase... But then we always mock the things we wish we had and cannot attain. People seem to think of honour as something lost and unnecessary... Yet at the same time we have this surge of interest in the East - where the people even still retain the idea of honour in spades... (how many people do you know whose children are enrolled in Tae Kwon Do or other martial arts?) People crave this basic sense of rightness. More and more people are flocking to the religious and political right - even in our time of revolutionary thought and unparalleled tolerance... They are seeking comfort in their rules and regulations. But this wont satisfy, for in the end the rightness is not based on respect - instead it is founded on, "I'm right, you're wrong. Submit or be destroyed." Real honour is not prejudiced... It respects one's person with or without agreement - so long as that respect is returned - then if one repeatedly refuses to be honourable they can and should be- eliminated. I can deal with this... So should we not be even more poised to embrace Honour now, when such tolerance abounds? ::sighs:: BUT... We live in a time of ME. When the self, "I", the ego - is glorified. This tolerance seems to come not from respect, but from the simple practical need to live next to all the other MEs without conflict... without destroying each other. Perhaps this struggle will become too tiring... Perhaps there will be a mass epiphany... Mmmm... ...Perhaps.

Animals... every one of us.

As Chuck Conners (playing Buck Hannassey) said in "The Big Country," "I like a woman who's scared of me. And if she told the truth a woman likes a man who scares her." This is true, really. ::gasp:: Shocking! I certainly will say even more shocking things as my blog goes on... And while this doesn't mean a woman wants to be scared always... there is something to be said about the base emotion of fear; When mixed with love it's absolutely intoxicating. Why does everyone love Buffy and Angel? ::smiles:: I imagine Joss Whedon is a very interesting man ::laughs::

This would explain why I am always hot... ::laughs::

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

On behaviour concerning effort - morphing quickly into a short treatise on relationships...

I put my all into something until its gone... and then I find something/someone else to delve into. I enjoy all of life's little gifts - people, experiences... and if they are gone... well - I remember them with a smile. I am never hurt - I love selflessly. I think people become hurt in relationships when they expect something back... and whatever they expected returns in a form not to their liking. Ahhh... control - a human need. I love not to be loved, but only - to love. I truly never feel hurt at the close of a relationship, short or long. Not because the person meant little to me, or because it was a surface "thing" - fleeting emotion... but because I embrace and assimilate that part of my life into who I am now... or rather... who I am after being with that person. Life is much too beautiful to mar with self-indulgent pity. There is always something else - just as beautiful - though different. Sometimes... it takes a little while to find the next thing. In that case... ::grins:: I do artwork until they come along.

Mmmmm...

I do love men. They are alien and yet not so... their familiar feeling parts are so often hidden. The beauty is found in getting them to reveal their vulnerability. Therein lies their delicious attraction. That otherness; strength - tempered by a sort of female familiarity is just... mmmmm... ::closes her eyes and smiles:: But ::laughs:: I have ever been drawn by dichotomy (I even love the sound of that word... its feeling on my tongue - as it's form leaves my mouth. I use it whenever applicable; this habit is deplorable though, as it leads to the boredom and contempt of one's listener... But I can't help myself ::grins::). Let no one ever say though, that in my admiration of men that I am (or would be) led to infidelity. No. To the contrary: When one finds such a male - complex and fascinating, one should keep them close and explore them - reveling in their magical contrast... it teases the mind.

BrainnessCollageBlack 

Right Brain Left Brain and My Striking Dichotomy

Not much else to say about it, is there? :: laughs::

Impossible Concentration

It's 10.50 am. Someone has drifted in and is playing with my energy. Thank you... It's lovely ::smiles::. But it *does* make it hard to concentrate - not that I'm terribly busy. I was working on a sketch of a woman on her toes, back arched, arms straight, to the side and a little behind her - her hands flared outward. I had planned on doing some sort of long skirt resting just on her hips or something. I'm having a hard time because I had all the perspective right in about 1.5 minutes but the right foot gave me trouble... I settled on a shape that emerged... And then the foot didn't match the perspective... So rather than redo the damned foot... I've erased all but one leg. :: laughs:: One step forwards twenty back today. Likely it's because I had this horribly intense desire to paint this morning and I have no paints. I haven't wanted to paint in ages and then this morning it just washed over me... And so I got up and strode kineticly yet aimlessly through the house several times :: laughs:: It helped a little but may hands were flaring and curling by turns... It was a bit maddening. ::sighs:: Which is why I settled on the sketching...

grey calla lily

The fluted form

A friend of mine and I had dinner last night at my favourite Spanish restaurant. The conversation lulled sometime after the food was three-fourths gone and I noticed this wall sconce... It was reminiscent of a lily yet more the idea of a lily; simple lines - upwardly oblique, curving only near the top when necessary. Now this struck me because we had just been discussing my father's newest addition to his addition: a gargantuan steel exhaust system for the new stove in the... *pauses for effect*... new kitchen. It too has this basic form. This got me thinking about how many other objects we impose this form upon. So I asked myself (and him) why this is... we had a brief cloudy epiphany that it may be sexual... (well... duh. and then we got to the idea of, "well, if it is sexual, why?" He succinctly pointed out that it was likely because it's, "nice." Ahhhhh... yes. (Simplicity - I crave you!) But *why* is it, "nice?" This, of course, led to a short stint on Divine Proportion... and then drifted back to the idea that it is likely sexual. Is everything sex? Or is it just me? As another friend of mine flatteringly informed me, "You aren't just sexy... you *are* sex." God help me.